A Ramadan season miracle

 Last Ramadan started like no other Ramadan in my whole life…

Every Ramadan, I expect blessings, I expect Fethe (enlightment) at the end of the way. It’s something I long for and work on, that is why my Ramadans are generally made of strict schedules; especially my bedtime schedule, it’s the only way I can find time to read Quran extensively and do night prayer while still being fit to do my job.

This Ramadan Alhamdulillah there has been hardly any reading of Quran and the minimum of night prayer instead I had: a hundred phone calls, a hundred e-mails, late hours at the office and last but not least an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that made me tear up more than once…

Some of you might wonder? What happened? Had I suddenly turned into a crazy masochistic workaholic at the opening of Ramadan?

Allow me to go back in time:

A few months ago, my friends Ahmed & Zeinab came up with this incredible idea of feeding 20 families every day for the whole month of Ramadan, they prepared a list of the content of the daily food parcel, went to a shop, agreed on the prices and started preparing for the feeding.

When I was told the cost of feeding twenty families for 30 days of Ramadan, I was surprised by how low it was and felt that it was almost Fard (obligatory) on me to do so as it would be if accepted by Allah, an atonement for my sinful soul and the best investment for my afterlife...

“O son of Adam, I asked food from you but you did not feed Me”

“My Lord, how could I feed Thee whereas Thou are the Lord of the Worlds?”

“Didn’t you Know that such & such servant of Mine asked food from you but you did not feed him, and were you not aware that if you had fed him you would have found him by My side?.......

 YA ALLAH!

Getting back to the idea of the Iftar, the thing was that I was still in the midst of renovating my house so it clearly wasn’t possible for me to finance a whole iftar on my own money, I’m not a Rothschild heir but for some reason the idea would not leave me…I became gradually obsessed about the population of a certain sector of Nouakchott called Tarheel. This name just wouldn’t leave me, especially after a dear friend, Mariem told me something deep: "Tarheel is a typical case of what we call in Arabic “the weak leaning on the weak”, as it’s a neighbourhood for relocated families –who lived in the slums- unlike other neighborhoods, the poor of Tarheel cannot rely on solidarity to feed themselves because all their neighbors are poor…

Meeting Elizabeth after I had this conversation with Mariem, was the least I can say inspiring …Elizabeth is a researcher studying precarious habitat who’s so passionate that she takes 3 different taxis to go to Tarhil  in the worst heat peeks … What’s incredible is that she has overcome the barriers of language, extreme heat and nationality for the sake of doing something meaningful…  I told myself I should summon up the courage to do this; I don’t have half the obstacles Elizabeth has had to overcome but seriously where am I supposed to get the funding? How to handle the logistics of delivering the parcels & distributing them? (I work 9 hours a day)

The opening came, 4 days before Ramadan when I happened to speak to Mona about my wish of feeding the people of Tarheel, super Mona (Allah Yahfadha) said; “Don’t worry, I’ll do the fundraising and she gave me a large amount of her own money to start with…After Ahmed, Zeinab and Elizabeth had inspired me: Mona gave me the courage I needed. May Allah reward them all.

From that moment, things just accelerated : Ahmed called me to tell that incidentally he had found a reliable person in Tarheel to take care of the distribution. He was talking to someone about my project when this person told him : “Don’t you know that Elhajj the son of .... is an Imam in Tarheel?

I called Elhajj and he happened to be an incredible asset for the feeding with his dynamism and his acute sense of Amana.  This acute sense of Amana is what helped reach out to the poorest of the poor. He began by identifying 20 of the poorest families in his sector; he knew all the names of the women and men and their children’s names, their situation… mashallah! At only twenty five years old he was acting like some old parish priest mothering his flock! Lol

Fundraising too was another miracle; I sent an e-mail to one of my closest buddies, Mohamed Lemine, with pictures of me with some of the most vulnerable families met in Tarheel to send to our friends working in mining companies… Guess what? The crazy dude sent my picture and message to the whole mailing list of Mauritania’s biggest mining company and their contractors……When I saw what he had done, I must say I had mixed feelings : should I strangle him or should I thank him??????For God's sake, all my friends know that my motto in life is “Live hidden, Live happy!”- I finally chose to not physically harm him and instead to thank him profusely J

I did right. Thanks to that crazy e-mail and to a few other e-mails and phone calls we fundraised approximately 18 000 USD and helped 160 families.

The parcels distributed everyday

 

Mohamed Lemine & one of the cute kids in Tarheel

 

 

Believe me, it was a miracle... until now, the ease of how the money was obtained still leaves me speechless. Apparently the Ramadan season miracle is experienced every year by people active in charity works. This Ramadan,  I had the pleasure to have ftour with sisters who do charity work all year long. Beautiful women, heart and soul, radiant women, who only want God.

Not only did they tell me that they experience this Baraka every year but actually it seems like most great social initiatives start up in Ramadan!

Finally, as usual Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, my Shaykh, my mentor emphasized in one of his lectures, what was for me one of the greatest teachings of this whole Iftar project: “The group with it flaws is better than sectarianism with its purity”(NB “flaws” might not be the exact word he used)

Indeed, it's the Baraka of having a group working solely for the sake of God that has made this project possible. These past months & for the first time in my life (remember guys, my motto was "live hidden, live happy"), I have felt embraced and supported by a sisterhood and brotherhood  who accept to disagree & be different but at the same time are bonded by the Love of Allah & Muhammad (SAW) the Chosen One.

I LOVE THE UMMAH

This project wouldn’t have been possible without : Ahmed, Zeinab, ElHajj (the two El Hajjs :-), Mohamed Lemine, Olga, Mona, Elizabeth, Hafsa, Mariem,  Nathalie, Gueye, Junior, Mohamed Cheikh and the wonderful private donators may Allah reward them.

                             Some of the volunteers : Med Lemine, El Hajj (n°1); El Hajj (n°2)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“O My Lord, increase me in knowledge” Quran 20:114

Yesterday was a blessed day. I had the opportunity to attend a gathering in Nouakchott where Shaykh Hamza Yusuf spoke for a few minutes.

What can I say? I had never had the opportunity of seeing him in person before; his akhlaks were simply amazing mashallah and his speech enlightening & powerful.

He began by remembering the days when he used to stop in Gueru, on his way to the village of Lemrabott Elhaaj (his Shaykh). At the time, one could hear Quran and mootoons being recited all through the night. But now in Gueru, homes are infested with television, satellite “dishes”, pouring out films made in the USA. Why don’t we take the good things from the West, why do we only take the negative ones?

He emphasized on the importance of our Ulemas and said something very striking: the Ummah has generally strong Iman (faith) but it is acquiring stronger knowledge that will ensure our continuity. He spoke about tragic killings perpetrated by muslims and gave the example of a woman who had fled the war in Syria and went to Turkey. When she was asked how she was, she said something like: “I’m fine, God is Present (mawjud) and in His Mercy He sent us Erdogan to welcome us in Turkey.” Wow what a beautiful example of iman!However, if this same woman who displays such beautiful iman (faith) had fled to the UK instead of Turkey, it is not certain that her grandchildren would still be Muslim…

The Shaykh reminded us of the Quranic verse (20:114):” And say: O my Lord, increase me in knowledge” but does not say increase me in Faith….

The message conveyed was clear; we are in dire need of more knowledge…

I am grateful to Allah (SW) that the Shaykh’s words found an echo in my heart. I had been waiting for this conference with trepidation, not knowing what to expect. I have been watching his lectures online since I was a teenager but now a live lecture! How would it be? The man has always been my self-chosen Shaykh and as said one of my brothers: if Shaykh Hamza Yusuf had a Zawiya , we and many other people in the world would be queuing to take bay3a with him…my sister, my brother, many of our friends and of course myself, have been coached and uplifted by his words for quite a few years now, Jazahullah Khayran.

Getting back to yesterday’s lecture, it was like the Shaykh was telling me that all my precious Islamic serenity would be threatened if I didn’t acquire more knowledge. I shivered and I looked around at all the well dressed audience and wondered how could they not seem frightened like I did? I wanted to tell them : don’t you understand that our happy peaceful Mauritanian lifestyle (based on Islam) might one day be challenged by this hemorrhage of deep Islamic knowledge our society is experiencing?

Yesterday when I came back home, my mind was swirling : I thought about knowledge as the peaceful adversary of terrorism, knowledge as the rampart against the despair that leads to social unrest and finally knowledge to combat all forms of oppression around the world…
 

It became clear to me that the rampart against the afflictions of this modern age was knowledge and that I, poor slave of Allah should do my outmost to acquire that knowledge asap. I did have plans, but they were for a long way down the road (when I’m done with corporate) and now that Shaykh Hamza has highlighted the urgency; sacrifices must be made. I can no longer wait for the right moment, I must use whatever spare time I have to study NOW!

Speaking to my sister, I also realized that we should stop being observers and get involved in something related to islam, no matter how much we hate debates, polemic and bold display of ignorance… it is true that we have a role model who’s gotten involved without going against his peaceful nature : Dad.

Our Dad is a historian. In his soft gentle way, he’s an academic super hero fighting against the forces of evil that strive to bring one community against another, one tribe  against the other and one country against the other. :-)

With his research, he shows how we are all brothers and sisters from another mother by reminding us of past historical alliances based on faith.

I remember one of his lectures he concluded by saying “I hope that my work has given you something that will put your heart and mind at ease for now you know that we are truly “descendants one of the other”  (transliteration : thurriyatan ba3duha min Baa3d”  Quran verse 3:34)

It was while he was preparing one of his conferences, that I had the chance to reflect on a Quranic verse that consoled me of something I’ve had in my heart for the last few years…

I sometimes dream of a homogenous world where we would all have one skin color, one language and no borders, for it seems to me that instead of seeing what a wonderful gift from God diversity is, man uses it as an excuse to declare war.

I’m now aware that dreaming of a homogeneous world is a terrible lack of Ridha and acceptance of Allah’s decree so whenever I feel saddened by the disputes arising in the Islamic world between Shia, Sunni, Maliki, Wahabi, Salafi, Sufi (for God's sake we’re all one people!) and that the longing for a homogenous humanity with brown skin (in my fantasy world we’re all metis :-) comes back to haunt me, I reflect on this verse my dad used as an introduction of one of his lectures on multiculturalism:

“If Allah willed, He would have made you one nation, but that He may test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in good deeds. The return of you all is to Allah; then He will inform you about that in which you used to differ.”

Quran 5:48

This aya says it all.

Finally, I cannot conclude this post without saying a word about the genial people who hosted the lecture.

The lecture was organized the Global Center for Renewal and Guidance an independent research institute focusing on contemporary muslim affairs in the west. The GCRG's board of Trustees has great names such as Shaykh Abdallah Bin Bayyah, Shaykh Hamza Yusuf and Dr. Abdullah al-Nasseef.

The logistics of the specific event held yesterday was orchestrated by Cheikhna Bin Bayyah (the son of Shaykh Abdoullah Binbayyah) and his lovely wife Habeeba.

As usual Cheikhna was a tremendous ice breaker (mashallah) making everyone laugh by sharing the story of his first encounter with Shaykh Hamza. When they met a few years ago in California, Cheikhna was invited to the Hansons' where he was presented with a gadha, a wooden Mauritanian bowl to drink from he told the Shaykh: "Don't you know I’ve come all the way to California to escape Mauritania and here you are handing me a gadha in your american home!!!” Lol

As for Habeeba, always with a sweet smile and a welcoming word for everyone, she even managed to give the women specific time to meet with the Shaykh (pic of him saying dua3 at the end of the session with the women).

 

Jazahumullah 3ana Khayr Eljaza

 

 

Fulfilling your dreams and transcending this material world

Lately I haven’t been able to write…

Although I have been asked repeatedly by a reader to get back to writing asap ;-) I just couldn’t because I was overcome by emotions which if expressed, would tell a lot more about my private life than I was willing to say.

However, I am no longer concerned about saying a little bit more than I had originally intended to… I realize that this blog allows a much needed catharsis to take place. It  helps me organize the happy turmoil in my soul. When I write, I am never detached, I’m either deeply troubled, giggling or laughing out loud when I'm about to crack up a joke!

For this specific post, let’s say that the words were gushing from a feeling of overwhelming, tear-jerking, gratitude! You know how you can have a dream very unlikely to happen and that you kind of got used to the idea that it never would happen. Well, guess what my friends? I had such a dream,  and it’s just about to be fulfilled, praise be to God Almighty.

Don’t try to guess what it is for you will exhaust yourself without finding out what it is ... “No, my hubby and I aren’t reproductively challenged (God forbid) and about to have a baby...”, “No, no it’s not that we’re going to Mecca either… that Alhamdulillah, has already been planned”. If you really want to know, you’ll have to start working harder to become my BFF, best friend forever ;-)

More seriously, when I add the imminent (insh.) fulfillment of my dream to various other strong positive changes in my life, I cannot but come to the conclusion that it’s all related to the fact that I joined the path of Istighfar and Salat ala Nabi. For me, no need to do the math here, all these positive changes originate from this. Since the Burda, and Qasidah Muhammadiya have been read several times in my house things have happened…. I don’t believe in the Qasidah Burda per se (it’s not magic!) but I believe that if you put in motion a process of expressing the love you have for the Prophet, through outward manifestations such as qasida recitation and salawats, if you are blessed with the chance to organize a Mawlid in your home, if you start focusing on the love so much that the longing would make you gladly welcome death…Nur, Light, will undoubtedly come.

I won’t lie to you and tell you that the struggle to keep the spirit of this Love strong and alive every day is easy, for most of the time I’m alone. Some days are easier than others but sometimes Dunya gets the upper hand and so I get frantic because I feel heedless, I feel WE are heedless. But regularly, God in his Mercy sends me sisters and brothers to help me feel I am not alone in my quest for Truth and so I pick up my weakened resolve and hit for the top of the mountain... once again :-)
I cannot fathom going back...How could I ever stand to go back, when now the reality of angels has become palpable and that I feel connected to those people for whom the Prophet is still alive?
I also cannot go back because I have had this strong, growing feeling that there are no limits to the Horizon, that the Faqir standing in front of his Lord can achieve anything and anything can happen to him, if it be God's will. Discovering this was incredibly liberating, I feel like I’ve been set free. I know I have already spoken about this, in one of my older posts but kindly indulge me for I would like to expand on this.

Take the time to reflect on this. Take a step back and think for your whole world can change the day you realize (profoundly) that : God willing there is nothing you cannot achieve with the power of your soul.Shaykh Hamza Yusuf in his lecture “BE GREAT PEOPLE” quotes “Take care of your soul, perfect it, give it virtuous qualities because it is by the soul that you are a human being, not by your body.” You can therefore, rise above that body, reach out for your dreams and for that glorious future of yours. It can be either that of a person of great patience, that of a nurturer, that of  leader of a nation, that of a scholar, that of a student of sacred knowledge, that of a loving parent, the possibilities are endless.

Here is a very short extract of a lecture of Hamza Yusuf that has been very important to me in this regards. I must say that I will never look at Shaykh Umar Farruq Abdallah in the same way anymore... Here is a man who applies what he believes in... May God increase him and give him Jennat El Firdows.
 

 

 

Let me share another inspiring story on how having certainty can change the course of things. This story happened to one of my sister's closest friends.

Mona and her  younger brother were studying abroad, the least we can say is that they had a hard time, their life wasn't easy. Muna was a med'school student and her younger brother was studying to become an engineer. One day, the boy had what seemed to be a sore throat and was asked by the doctors to run some tests. He complied and his older sister went to the lab the next day, to pick up the results. When she opened the envelope, she saw:  "Malignant..." We all know what "malignant" refers to :   The cancer, The C word,  etc…

When Mona read the results, instead of falling apart and despairing, the chronically stressed & overwhelmed med'school student said "And I know from Allah which ye know not" (which is what the prophet Jacob (RA) the very resilient, used to say, verse 86 of Sura 12, Quran) and prayed to God that these results be false, with the certainty that even though this diagnosis was from the most preeminent lab in the country, Allah's decree could make it all come to nothing.

She announced the news to her parents who flew with their son to France, where they were asked to run more tests..... The end of the story is that after undergoing various tests, the boy turned out not to have cancer! Alhamdulillah.

I ask all the people who read this, to raise their hands, now, in this moment to make Dua3 for this sister and her family and that they be blessed with good health and even stronger Iman.

(Continuation.)

Being certain that with Allah’s Mercy there is nothing you cannot achieve & relying only on Almighty Allah  is what will actually make you achieve your dreams.

If you arm yourself with certainty and reliance on God the Most Merciful and the Most Compassionate, and quit relying on your spouse, your network, the community or even your own strength and skills (because these are all things by nature limited), you will gradually see your mental barriers falling down, crumbling down.

One day, you will realize that you have left behind you a lot of the petty things of human life that were the foundation of your self-imposed servitude & that you are now reaching out for something that has no limit:  Allah’s Mercy.
And when he sets his Mercy on you… that day, if the odds were against you, if the Djins & the people of this world united to stand in your way, you would get what you had aimed for, because He has decreed it!

So rejoice my friend, you can be the dirtiest, ugliest, poorest forsaken soul on this earth if God blesses you with certainty and tawfiq the limit is the sky! J or more accurately there is no limit!

However, the problem is that if you don’t achieve the goals you’ve set for yourself, you can no longer blame it on the context (your age, your wild progeny, your parents, your neighbor, the heat, the President, the opposition…) if it doesn’t happen it’s just that you didn’t want it hard enough so you didn’t try enough or simply…. that you did try hard but that Allah Subhanahou Wataala hasn’t allowed it because he has something so much better in store for you J

For instance, I know that if I set my mind to it, I can be a Hafiza, a Fikiha, regardless of my age and my french secular educational background...but do I really want it? Of course, I love the idea but do I want it enough to put up with a little bit of hard work?

I have no doubt at all that God willing, if I put a good intention in it and work, one day there will be an opening (see what Hamza Yusuf says about this in the "Be great people" lecture)

 

 

Finally guys, after experiencing what I just told you about,  do you know what the real mind boggling discovery was? Now that I'm achieving plenty of my earthly projects,  surprisingly they don’t seem that important anymore in comparison to the bliss I felt when I was still out there, working hard on my projects and hoping for God’s Mercy.. I'm more and more aware that : the true bliss or blessing lies not in the achievement but in the prayer and longing that preceed it..

 

Wassalamu Aleykum



 

 

 

"On Allah the Most Merciful & Compassionate I shall rely"

On Allah the most Merciful, the Most Compassionate, the Lord of the Universe I shall rely

This is my new credo, the new perspective I have adopted for my life and have been cultivating for a while in order to be almost always deeply happy. I know many who would pay me good money to know my recipe to hapiness, well  guys, rejoice this time I won't charge you :-)

I fought the stress created by the daily challenges of modern life by shifting my whole vision of things, I have become incredibly serene and happy and it all started with Shaykh Hamza reminding us in his beautiful descriptive style of a story in the prophetic sunna where a woman embraces her child in a crow so vehemently and cries "My child! My child" with such anguish that all those who witnessed the scene were moved to tears. Allah’s Messenger (Saw) who was present throughout the scene turned to his companions and asked them : “Do you think that this woman would ever throw her child into the fire?” The companions all answered: ‘By Allah, Never!’ So the Prophet (Saw) said: “Allah is more merciful to His believing servants than that mother could ever be to her child."      

But why can a single story be the trigger to a 360° mind set shift?

Well, every morning I remind myself that Allah Al Rahman (the most merciful), Al Rahim (the most compassionate) loves me more than anyone in this world, it is then that I remember the loving faces of my father and mother may Allah grant them a long life of worship and happiness, I remember especially how my father constantly tries to lift us up and to shelter us, even now as adults! I am sure that if it were possible he would  live our lives in our places to prevent us from going through any hardships!

And so in the face of a love so pure, so disinterested and immense as fatherly and motherly love, the Sunna reminds me that Allah’s Love is infinite and not limited like their love and it is then that I have this certainty… certainty, that in a world governed by His rule nothing bad can happen to me and to my loved ones, we have nothing to fear, nothing to worry about because we are Loved by the one and Almighty…Amen.

I will never forget the day my father explained to me as a child, that the deep arabic meaning behind "El Rahman, El Rahim" "the Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate" is that Allah's mercy and compassion behold all human beings whether believers or non believers.

It's this infinite and unconditional love (Allah has mercy even on people who don't believe in Him) that drives me to work hard on my soul –Nafs- to be worthy of it. I soooo pray for more patience… I want the patience of those who are resilient at the very first strike....and then I want "El Rida", the contentment of those who accept whatever Allah has decreed for them, be it bliss or tribulation!

   

I am sharing with you all this because it has helped me enormously to face my day with serenity. If I happen to face what I no longer call a "problem" but call now (with more optimism) "challenge", I know it is simply one of the many painless tests that are there to juge my character.

And it all started with Shaykh Hamza... (may Allah give him Jennah) :-)





Why this blog?

I decided to start writing this blog after my sister told me that she had suddenly realized that our encounter with the lectures and writings of Shaykh Hamza Yusuf was in fact the answer to the silent prayer, a teenager made a few years ago after meeting Shaykh Abdullah Binbayyah...She was so struck by the light coming from him and felt so drawn to his words but despaired that she could never have the opportunity to learn from him and sit with him for Shaykhs of his stature are inaccessible (always surrounded by hordes of people or other knowledgeable scholars)...But Allah Almighty heard this silent prayer ; the words and teachings of Shaykh Binbayyah and more generally a condense of classical Islamic traditional knowledge such as it was taught by Mauritanian scholars became suddenly accessible to us the day we discovered Shaykh Hamza Yusuf.

In this blog I will introduce you to Mauritania (my home land) and speak to you about people who share inspirational verses of the Kuran, Hadiths and stories of the Sunnah and swap Hamza Yusuf lectures in order to keep trying to better themselves and be closer to Allah Almighty. I will also speak about the encounters I have had with many muslims, muslims to be and non muslims who have changed my life, if my journey carries any interest for you please feel welcome to join and to share with me your thoughts.

"Can we change by listening?Can we be so touched and inspired by words that we are moved to renew and remake ourselves as better, nobler, and more merciful human beings?The impact that good words have had on humanity throughout history resoundingly declares we can." Shaykh Hamza Yusuf, introduction to The content of Character.